Friday At Five - Chubbies Shorts

Battleship + Beer Pong = Battlepong

By: Grant Marek
Photos by Mason Robinson - Chubbies Friday At Five Photos by Mason Robinson

If Slamball taught us one thing it's that ACLs are SUPER fragile. But if it taught us TWO things, it's the ACLs thing, and also that you can make any already-great sport better.

Especially if you add giant styrofoam Battleship beer coozies to it, which you TOTALLY WILL if you're playing Battle Pong.

Basically Battleship and beer pong... COMBINED.

Which means instead of sliding red and white pegs into tiny little holes on tiny little Battleship pieces you slide red cups into coozie-sized holes on GINORMUNGOUS Battleship pieces. And the more battleships you sink (by hitting all of the cups on that ship), the fewer balls the other team gets to throw.

Here's a GIF-filled guide to building your own board, friendy friends:

1. Round up your Battle Pong building materials

Jigsaw, 4ft x 8ft x 2in styrofoam sheet (thanks, Home Depot), beer, 34 red cups, more beer, glue, five ping pong balls, EVEN MORE BEER.

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2. Jigsaw two sets of the classic Battleship pieces (Patrol Boat, Destroyer, Submarine, Battleship, Aircraft Carrier) out of your styrofoam sheet

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3. Saw out the appropriate number of red-cup-holder-holes (Patrol Boat has two, Sub has three, etc.) in each of your Battleship pieces (optional: glue on nerdy 3D elements to your ships)

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4. Insert red cups into your Battleship pieces

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5. Get on opposite sides of a table, and set up your Battleship pieces wherever you want... wait no, no there!!!!... yeah, there, nice work

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6. Pour beer into cups and play pretty-much-classic beer pong with two minor differences...

A) You start play with five balls, and B) whenever your opponent sinks one of your Battleship pieces (meaning they hit all of the cups in it), your team throws one less ball on all future turns. First team to sink all of the other team's Battleship pieces wins.

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