We like our hangovers like we like our honey ham: Cured.
Which's why we hit up a real-life Stanford doctor, Connor O'Brien, M to the D, who let us in on a game-changing little game-changer: how to cure a hangover... WITH SCIENCE.
Dr. Connor used a LOT of big words explaining this to us, but basically there's three sucky things happening to you when you're hungover:
1) There's some minor damage to your body because alcohol is the devil (screw you, alcohol), 2) there's dehydration, and 3) there's a withdrawal process in your brain, where your brain is all "Dude, I had so much fun drinking last night -- you released sooooooo much dopamine while we were partying. Thing is, you're not releasing it anymore, and that sucks, so I'll give you, like, $1,000,000 if you release some more by either A) drinking more booze, or B) eating like 12 cheeseburgers."
And then you're all, "Here you go, here's 80 pieces of bacon."
And your brain is all, "Thanks bro. This should make us feel human again, but honestly still kinda hungover."
If you want to go from "just feeling human again" to "whoa I don't feel hungover at all, let's go play laser tag" you're going to need to address the hydration situation, too.
And this where most people #fail -- while drinking water is good, it doesn't really address the problem in its entirety.
Because when you drink, you also pee a bunch. And when you pee a bunch, your body loses salt, too. You don't replace that when you're drankin' just a fugload of water.
The best hangover cure, scientifically speaking, is actually the World Health Organization's Cholera Cure. Yeah. That.
Cholera involves severe dehydration and electrolyte loss, and if you drank infinity drinks the night before you're dealing with basically the same stuff.
Dr. Connor's Hangover Cure:
• 1 liter of water
• 6 teaspoons of sugar
• A half teaspoon of salt
• Squeeze of lemon or lime for flavoring
"It's scientifically designed -- even though it's so simple -- so you really absorb what you drink," Dr. C says.
According to the doc, you actually only need 1 to 1.5 liters (don't drink more than that weirdo, your stomach is only so big), which you can drink right before you go to bed or right when you wake up (earlier the better).
Phil here had a big night last night (sooooooo much Grappa, guys), so we had him put this thing to the test.
Thanks science. And also Connor.