For everyone who saw our real-life Mario Kart race down the crookedest street in the world and was like, "guyyyyyys, I totally wanna do this, but, well, I totally don't wanna go find the mini cars, and rent the costumes, and find a track, and basically do anything other than just driving a car in the race," allow ourselves to introduce... yourselves to Akiba Kart.
This Tokyo-based operation rents out "mini cars" that're similar to go-karts, except they're classified more like cars, meaning 1) they're street legal (woooooooooot), 2) you don't have to wear a helmet, and 3) you'll need an international driver's license to get behind the wheel.
The karts -- which top out at 38mph -- cost $24 per hour, or you can rent it for the entire day (why would you not do this????) for $100 and return it the following day.
Oh right, the best part: they've got a war chest of Mario Kart costumes they'll let you wear FOR FREE.
(I call Yoshi.)