WIth apologies to Boaty McBoatface, THIS is actually the greatest boat that has ever existed:
The Tarzan Boat is essentially a floating waterpark -- a 12' by 34' pontoon that can entertain up to 40 people at a time with:
1) a 6ft diving platform
2) a 12ft diving platform
3A) a rope swing that you can use for ROPE SWING BEER PONG
3B) a military-grade poly cargo net you can swap in if you don't wanna play ROPE SWING BEER PONG
4) a small trampoline
5) an Olympic-grade trampoline that launches you as high as 20ft in the air
6) a twisty tube slide
So where can you find this glorious island o' fun?
Well, there are actually a few public ones throughout the South and the Pacific Northwest, or you can buy your own if you've got $63K lying around.
Or you could just go buy 1,000+ new pairs of dope swim trunks.